Perfectionism

I read an article today by Rubel Shelly about perfectionism. He quotes and article from BBC News Online that gives the "Top Ten" signs that you are a perfectionist.

Top Ten Signs Your a Perfectionist
1. You can't stop thinking about a mistake you made
2. You are intensely competitive and can't stand doing worse than others.
3. You either want to do something "just right" or not at all.
4. You demand perfection from other people.
5. You won't ask for help if asking can be perceived as a flaw or weakness.
6. You will persist at a task long after other people have quit.
7. You are a fault-finder who must correct other people when they are wrong.
8. You are highly aware of other people's demands and expectations.
9. You are very self-conscious about making mistakes in front of other people.
10. You noticed the error in the title of this list.

I'm afraid that for the most part I'm batting almost 100 on that list. I'll admit that I didn't notice the error in the title, but that is little consolation. So, after convincing me that I am indeed a perfectionist (which I am pretty sure I knew already, but one can always hope that perhaps it was a mistake to think so), he goes in for the kill. It is often said that perfectionism is caused by low self-esteem but here he says that it is caused by the opposite: pride. He doesn't really expand on that any more - just states it then moves on to very simple "why it's bad" and "how to combat" it.

But, I wanted to think for a couple more minutes about pride being the root of perfectionism. In some ways that makes sense: not wanting others to see you fail would tend to make you keep at something when it might have been time to stop. But what about those times when no one else knows what you have done and you still go way beyond what is really needed to get a job done? Is that still rooted somehow in wanting to look good to other people? A good job must be done in case someone happens upon it? Not sure. Is not wanting everyone under the sun to know that you aren't great at things really pride? I guess I'm wondering if it embarrasses a person for others to know things aren't going great if that really equates with pride or if it's just plain old being embarrassed? I guess I'm thinking that in some ways it might be a combination of both pride and low self-worth.

In a world where people in general are very grudging in revealing that things aren't perfect for them, it's a small wonder that many people try to live up to a standard that is impossible to reach. That can't be the way that God wants us to live though. By pretending that we are something that we are not, we can not be making those who feel imperfect feel welcomed in our fellowships.

Anyway. Something to think about.