Urgent Virus Notice!

There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand. This virus is called WORK. If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means do not touch it! This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest pub.

Purchase the antidote known as WINE. The quickest acting is called CHARDONNAY, but this is only available for those who can afford it. The public sector equivalent is BLUE NUN. Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. Forward this warning to five friends.

If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected with WORK, and it is controlling your life. This virus is deadly.

Update: 03.02.05; after extensive testing it has been concluded that BEER may be substituted for WINE but may require a more generous application.

Alert! Update: 25.03.05; further testing has shown that the super virus STUDYING has similar effects as the WORK virus. The same antidotes are proving successful, and other variations are also being tested. It may be that extreme antidote BRANDY may be needed to eradicate these viruses, and it is thought that ongoing applications may be needed to prevent recurrence.